Snow

My Snowy House

Sunflowers

Ravenna Park

It has snowed twice in the last week. And its sticking. Maybe I will have have a white Christmas!



My roommate likes the same kind of cheetos as me. In my world that means alot because I dont like people who like the poofy ones, only the regular style crunchy ones. Just another reason I know I meant to be here.

Today was officially my second day as a bagel slave. Its not too bad of a job because every person who works there is really nice. I have learned to make espresso and sandwiches on bagels (no brainer). Also, I have done something I never ever thought I would really do which is dishwashing. I stick my hand down in warm cream cheese water and scrape plates, squirting them down with hot high powered water and then I reach my hand all the way to the bottom through pieces of onion and who knows what to pull out the drain stopper wrapped in a medical rubber glove. Quite gross if you ask me, and I catch myself making faces I just hope no one see them.

Now that I have a job its for sure that I wont be able to come home for Christmas. But since Kate is coming then I am going to have Christmas dinner at her moms house.



I just looked out the window and its snowing!!! My first snow of winter. My first Northwest snow. It is truly a magical moment, I am going to enjoy it!

Listening to Neil Young

Internet at the house!! Woo hoo. This makes my life so much easier. I dont have to spend $3 a coffee everytime I need to jump online anymore.

I have also gotten a much better job, closer to the house, good hours, alright pay, and a free shift meal.

Tomorrow I am going downtown to get my license to become and official citizen of Washington. I also have an interview for a cocktail position at a very upscale billiards bar. Which would be a nice source of income if I am planning on saving anything extra for college.


But here comes a fun picture post. These are of the arboretum, when I went a couple weeks ago.

Eating my words

Well Thank God, and Buddha, and Krishna and Allah, and Jesus and Muhammad, and Jupiter and Zeus and whoever else is up there I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!

It is an on call catering staffing service. Basically I tell them when Im available for the week and they contact me to do work parties and events.

There are many downfalls including:
Its pretty much only on weekends (so not many opportunities for $)
My first paycheck doesn't arrive until Jan. 1.
They dont take out taxes so I have to file as self employed and contracting through this company meaning I end up owing come tax time
I have to invest $50 into alcohol and food permits
About $100 in uniform (gotta spend money to make money)

But it seems really flexible and easy to work around, so I will continue looking for a primary job. But atleast there is some source of money that will be flowing my way soon.

Having a job creates a better attitude for looking for jobs so hopefully this can kick start some good job finds.

I guess my little break down yesterday was because I felt it was the end. I just didnt know it was the beginning of being employed!
Back on my feet! And it feels good.

How low can you go?

There must be some kind of curse on me right now. Life is making it so hard for me to succeed. Not having internet at the house makes things hard enough but this computer which works sometimes, not others, shuts off randomly, the screen goes black, makes it even harder. And lately the problem has been when it is working it wont let me attach documents to emails. So there goes sending resumes to job postings. Because even if I wanted to just copy and paste it at the end of the cover letter, the format of the resumes goes bananas and each time I would have to spend atleast 20 minutes correcting the alignment. If its not one thing its another. I can succeed and I will, its just beating me down right now. Down down down into the ground, grinding me down with the big heel of a gigantic world. I am the dead horse, stop beating.


Its not suppose to be hard. This was suppose to be a breeze. I dont get it. I thought I had finally gotten my way, things were going my way. Life would be perfect and easy because thats the attitude I had put into the universe. And instead I get struggle and worry. No matter how many times everyone says "life isnt easy, its not fair, you dont always get your way" I will never learn. I surrender to these lessons because I cant get them through my head. And until I can (which I cant) I am doomed to a life of disappointment. Please dont get me wrong, I am in no way disappointed that I am out here, trying to make something better of myself. I know that there are low points in life, and its not always a smooth ride. This is a low point, a dip off the graph of my life. Im riding it out. I must express some bit of misery to fully appreciate when it finally picks up.

There is a mold of the adult I am becoming, it already exists and deep down, subconsciously I know what it is. My circumstances and situations are breaking me and making me into that person. I cant see the big picture but I can follow my gut and understand the things that happen are the things that make me, as uncomfortable as they may be.