Today I am really missing everyone. Everything in the house is situated and in its place. I have a nice cozy bed, inadequate lighting, the broadest music collection, hangers that match the wooden walls, good jackets, and not so good shoes. I have a library card with the possibility to have 100 things checked out at one time. But I dont have the people that love me. I dont have friends that can come over on Friday night and watch a movie, or go grab a feta and pineapple pizza. I dont have people who call me to talk about the every day. In a way I guess I have been selfish, only concerned with letting everyone know how great everything is going for me. Not taking in to account the things that are happening for everyone else. My mind has just been clouded with my own excitement.

Last night I went out with my roommate Julia and her friends, and it made me really miss having people to hang with. I can hang with the roomies only so much before I feel like I am butting in on their lives. I am not sad in a lonely pathetic way that anyone should feel bad. I am just ready for the friend aspect of a new city. And I know that takes time, to make good acquaintences that you can actually rely on, and call when you are bored and to talk about silly day to day things.

I miss not being able to easily see my parents. Its just hitting me. Every other house or apartment I have lived in by this time everyone would have already come by to check it out, help me furnish a bit and make sure that my surroundings are safe. Its different on the Atlanta end of feelings because I have been gone for over 3 weeks, so I am sure its set in for everyone. In my mind, Ive been on vacation until a little over a week ago and I am just now starting to feel the distance.

Other than the few close friends that kept in contact, I feel like everyone else has let the memory of me go already. But thats what happens when people arent around all the time. Proximity makes all the difference. Kate was right when she said "take in everything you can, because when you are gone, everything really is gone".

It really is gone. I think I am finally realizing I am not in motion anymore. This is not a temporary situation. This is it. It is final. I am here and everyone I know is somewhere else. I am feeling hugely separated today, but its only natural. I knew this feeling would come sooner or later.


Since I have left my home city I had some fun, saw some sights, but I am ready to get on track with the reason I came out here. To make money, save as much as I can, establish residency, and create my future at Evergreen. I need the routine of everyday life, get up- go to work- come home- and do it all again the next day. I want to appreciate my off days. Who would have ever thought that I would be craving stabilty and routine. I fed my soul with this incredible journey from Vegas to Colorado to Seattle but now the time is right to settle.


So with my head in the right place now, I am getting serious about being here and being a responsible adult with the ability to make my own choices. Growing up is hard to do and I dont ever think Ill be ready. But is anyone ever really ready? You just have to jump in and hope that you can swim.